After years of toil, I’ve cracked the code to styling my kids’ hair.
When I was growing up, my mother combed, plaited, and greased my 4B hair often. Like many other young Black girls, I’d get my hair relaxed, forcing it to flow, not spring. Throughout elementary and middle school, I would get chemical burns on my scalp, though I didn’t know that’s what they were at the time and kept them a secret from the grown-ups in my life.
As I got older, I learned more about the potential dangerous medical side effects of regular relaxer use. So as soon as my hair decisions became my own, I quit the relaxers cold turkey.
After having natural hair for five years, I became pregnant with my first child. I was still learning what made my own strands tick, so discovering the technicalities of someone else’s hair was intimidating. When my baby girl lost the customary patch of hair from months of lying on her back, I got to work on regrowth. I vowed to keep her hair unrelaxed and exclusively use natural brands that could help nourish her hair as it grew.
I did everything I could to give my daughter’s natural hair its best life—but I sucked at styling.
I watched YouTube videos and read tutorials. I tried water and hair lotions and bought different-size combs and brushes. And still I floundered.
I don’t have the exact same hair type my daughter does (she’s 4C), so I figured the answer was in a product that we couldn’t share. Turns out, I was wrong.
Miss Jessie’s Pillow Soft Curls Cream
A hair cream for different textures
This creamy hair lotion brings out natural curls without hardening the hair. It’s good for kids of all ages and adults, too.
Buying Options
$22 from Amazon
$22 from Walmart
Miss Jessie’s, a Black-owned hair-care line launched by two sisters in Harlem, came into my field of vision six months after I gave birth. I had tried other creams with middling results.
I originally reached for the Miss Jessie’s Baby Buttercreme formula because it was safe for babies, but at over $30 per 8-ounce jar, it was too expensive for long-term use. Then I tried the company’s Jelly Soft Curls, but it left my baby’s hair crunchy and full of flakes. The Miss Jessie’s Pillow Soft Curls Cream, a moisturizing styling lotion, wound up being just right for my cub and me.
For her hair, I use it right after a wash. While her hair is still wet, I part it into even sections. The number of parts correlates with the style I’m looking to do, so one part down the middle is two ponytails, two perpendicular parts are four. I’ve found that it’s easiest to part before any product is applied.
Once I’ve parted, I start with Cécred Nourishing Hair Oil (the hair oil from Beyonce’s line) or straight-up olive oil. Then I pour nickel-sized dollops of the Pillow Soft Curls lotion onto my palm and work it through her hair with a wide-toothed comb to make sure her hair is detangled. The scent is sweet and clean, with a baby-lotion vibe. I like the smell, but it’s not for everyone.
I go through it with a brush as well to make sure the lotion gets into the entire section evenly. I repeat this process with each section of her hair, making sure the hair is wet before I add lotion. Once I’m done, I add hair ties, brushing the hair around the base so it’s neat.
For myself, I use Pillow Soft Curls for my signature parted afro and slicked curly buns with a middle part. I follow the same process for myself, but I tend to use a paddle brush instead of a comb-and-brush combo; it leaves my curls defined without making my hair stiff. Pillow Soft Curls is thin, like a watered-down lotion, so for both of us it’s great for detangling and styling.
After wash day, I can also use it to revive my daughter’s curls. Pillow Soft Curls keeps them moist and bouncy without weighing her hair down. I just wet her hair with a spray bottle and add a little of the lotion.
This cream has been especially good for twists, braids, and afros or puffs—for her hair and mine. It was one of the products I used when I was dealing with wretched postpartum shedding. I also use it on my son’s tightly coiled hair when it needs some moisture.
This curl cream is hair-saving and versatile, but it isn’t perfect. Although you can probably use less, the bottle recommends using a palm-sized amount for your entire head, and at just over $20 a bottle with three of us in my household using it regularly, that’s not a great cost per use.
It also can sometimes pool around hair ties as it dries. While you can usually brush the dried cream out, it’s a pain. Additionally, the lotion comes only in a tube, which means young kids can easily open it and squirt it out.
That said, I look forward to doing my daughter’s hair in the morning. I love the moments we get to spend together, just her and me. In a move that would shock the old me, I’ve even started trying out more elaborate hairstyles on her—and they’re not half bad. For me, practice, and Pillow Soft Curls, makes perfect.
This article was edited by Hannah Rimm and Catherine Kast.